Wednesday Wonder

Patience is a virtue.

I have often said it is a virtue I do not possess in great amounts. Learning patience was a large part of my journey the last couple of years. And I am not sure I developed much more of it than when I started. But I have perhaps learned to at least outwardly fake it at times. And my mom used to tell me to put on a smile, even if I wasn’t feeling very happy that day. “Fake it ‘til you make it,” she said. She assured me that if I kept smiling, eventually I would feel happier. Not convinced mom was completely right, but perhaps those who had to interact with me on those days might say she was.

As I have been working with the Bible study groups on the letters of Paul the word patience shows up quite a bit. One of the commentaries I use to assist me in my understanding of what Paul writes had an interesting view of patience.

“Patience is the capacity to put up with aggravating behaviours in others without resorting to retaliation.” (Ernest D. Martin)

I like this definition. Not saying that I don’t sometimes devise retaliation in my mind, but I can usually control myself from actually following through with it. I had never thought of patience in this way. And frankly, I don’t think that is what Paul meant when he talked about patience. Although, at times and in some circumstances maybe it was.

Patience is something we extend to others, but it is also something we should extend to ourselves. I find that side of patience even harder. Giving myself some grace about what I am doing is always a challenge. Even with my healing, I keep telling myself I should be further along, or I should be able to do everything I used to do already. Giving myself time and space, being patient with myself, is not something I have ever done well.

How about you? How is your patience level with everyone, including yourself? We so often have high expectations of ourselves and others. When those expectations are not met, we don’t find much patience available. Or maybe that is just me?

In the letter to the Colossians, Paul reminds them about living love. That includes having compassion (for myself? Not very often.), kindness and patience. In the letter to the church at Corinth he actually says that love is patient and kind. Think about how Jesus dealt with people. There are many times in the gospels that we hear about the disciples not quite grasping what Jesus is telling them, or being downright ‘thick’ when it comes to understanding his teachings. But Jesus always dealt with them with patience. Not that I don’t sometimes read his responses with the sound of exasperation in my head. He was both fully divine and fully human after all.

Reminding myself that patience is part of showing love, to self and others, is a common occurrence for me. But then, I’m human and living out the Christ like life takes constant work and mindfulness for us. Paul has some lists of the things we are supposed to NOT do, as well as of what we are to do. And each day is a struggle to follow through with either type of list.

Patience is something our world could use more of every day. Patience that is extended in love can make all the difference. To both the giver and the receiver. Giving it to ourselves can sometimes be even more difficult. But God gives it to all of us. Jesus, as the Christ where God fully dwells, showed us how. I don’t think retaliation was ever an option, but it does remind me that love that does not have patience within it, really isn’t love at all.

So…I will just be over here, trying to patiently love myself and others. I may have to start over again each day, but I am trying.