Wednesday Wonder

“The fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.” Can that be our prayer today? We can try to try to want to try. (Quote from Thomas Merton; full quote from Kate Bowler in Have a Beautiful, Terrible Day)

Thomas Merton was a monk. He wrote many quote worthy things and I enjoy reading his writings. It was the two lines that Kate Bowler added at the end, which brought the whole thing together for me.

“We can try to try to want to try.” Sounds like a typical day. We do want to try to be faithful, to feel like we are enough, to be strong, brave, kind, all these things. And we want to be all these things to the glory of God.

But some days, many days, are hard. Our intentions do not always become reality for the day. But we try. We try to be all the things we think we should be. We try to be all God wants for us to be. We do not always do that each day, but we try!

The word ‘try’ stands out for me. We can use it in more than one way. We can use it as above, in saying we are striving to accomplish something – I am trying to get this little epistle written. Or, we can use it to express how someone else is getting on our nerves – She can be so trying sometimes.

Same word, different meanings. The second is something we say when getting exasperated. Think about it for a moment though. Is that person actually trying to accomplish being a trying presence for us? Most often not, but there are some people…

What are each of us trying to accomplish each day? What is it we are trying to ensure our life is, or does? What do we want our days to look like? What do we want to accomplish for ourselves, for others?

Sometimes, we just feel like not trying at all. It sounds like too much effort. We never feel like we actually accomplish what we set out to do, so we give up. When it comes to faith, where are we on our trying scale?

God knows our hearts and minds. God knows what we are trying to do. And, I suspect that, at times we have all been a little trying for God. When the world began, God gave the human creatures created a little thing called free will. I wonder some days if God considers that a mistake now. We don’t always make good decisions.

That may be true. We don’t always make good decisions. Are we trying to make good decisions? Do we want to make good decisions? That is all we can do. We try to make good decisions. We try to follow through on all the things we decide or believe we need to do, or want to do.

While some of us are perfectionists, we all know perfect is not possible. We are only human and therefore perfectly imperfect. So, all we can do is try. Try to be faithful, try to share God’s love with others, try to be imitators of Christ in how we live. All we can do is try.

“We can try to try to want to try.”

That is enough.