Wednesday Wonder – January 15 2025

“Vulnerability is not weakness.” – Brene Brown

No offense to Dr. Brown, but that is not what I grew up believing. What is it comedians say? “Never let them see you sweat.” That is how I was taught to behave. There was strength in always knowing the answer, always being able to do whatever thing needed to be done.

We all need to be vulnerable at times. And, sometimes, that vulnerability proves that we have great strength. Being vulnerable takes courage. It also takes trust. We are not, and should not, be vulnerable with just anyone. There is a bit of the chicken and egg issue with vulnerability. To be vulnerable helps build trust. Trust is needed to be vulnerable. You can see the problem that can create.

However, when we are vulnerable with one another, trust grows and relationships bloom. Vulnerability does not mean bare your soul to just anyone. It means that at times we show where we are struggling with people we trust. We do not do so to ask them to fix our struggles, but to walk with us. There is strength in the connections made when we are vulnerable.

Sometimes, we have to trust that a person, a relationship, is a place we can be vulnerable. Admitting that we may be in need of assistance, or not able to do everything we had hoped to do is difficult. That was why I chose to be vulnerable when I shared my diagnosis with the congregation. I was trusting that the level of trust between us would allow me to be vulnerable as I looked ahead to an uncertain future.

How do you feel about being vulnerable? I find it very uncomfortable. Then I remember that even Jesus had to deal with vulnerability. At times he tried to get away from the crowds to recharge, because when we are tired we become vulnerable in ways that may be harmful to us or others because we may speak without as much thought, we may not provide the attention someone needs and we may not honour the vulnerability placed before us. People were vulnerable with Jesus, all the time. He had to be ready to respond appropriately, all the time. Jesus became more than just emotionally vulnerable when he dealt with the High Council and Pilate. There is a difference between emotional and physical vulnerability.

It is emotional vulnerability most of us deal with on a regular basis. When someone asks you, “How are you?”, and actually waits for an answer, choosing to share that you are not, “Fine”, is vulnerability. Asking someone how they are and waiting for the answer makes you vulnerable because you will possibly be confronted with something you will not feel equipped to respond to in a helpful way.

We are all faced with opportunities for sharing our vulnerability and we are all faced with the need to meet the vulnerability of others. Remembering that Jesus walked the path of vulnerability too sometimes strengthens our courage.

If we meet vulnerability with caring and compassion, that is all others can ask. It is the fear of being scoffed at, or worse, laughed at, that holds us back from revealing our vulnerability.

Families usually know what buttons to push to make us vulnerable, and to have us feeling like we never want to show that side of us. Strength will then always be our façade from now on. As a Church family, we will have both the best, and the not so great, responses to the vulnerability of others. Perhaps keeping in mind that we should see the face of Christ in everyone we encounter, will help us remember to honour the vulnerability we receive and hold it carefully, just as Jesus did, and as he needed others to do for him. In turn, we can trust that the same will be done for us.

Together, we help one another find strength in our vulnerability and the courage it takes to share it. Together, we make our Church family a place where we uphold one another and we all become stronger.

Peace,
Rev. Mary-Jane