Wednesday Wonder – October 16, 2024
Kindness.
Some days I wonder, why is there so little kindness left in our world? And then I witness a small random act of kindness and my faith in humanity is renewed.
Back when my son, Stephen, was in elementary school, there was a time when the school was very intentional about kindness, and other positive characteristics. Stephen proudly came home one day with a sheet of paper that declared he had performed a Random Act of Kindness. When asked about it, he wasn’t even sure what it was. It was just him being him. He helped someone out because they needed help. Proud momma day, to hear maybe I was raising my child in a healthy, positive way.
How strange though, that we feel we have to reward such random acts as though they are particularly special because they are so infrequent. Imagine what the world might be like if everyone practiced kindness all the time!
Kindness seems a simple, easy enough thing. So, why is it not just a natural way of being for all of us? When I look around me, I see both acts of kindness and opportunities for kindness missed. What was the last act of kindness you perpetrated? What was the last opportunity to share kindness but you did not?
Sometimes kindness is lost in the ‘heat of the moment.’ We respond to something without thinking about how we might do so in the kindest way. Our words come out without realizing what harm they might do. Or, at the time, we simply do not care about kindness to another for we feel unkindness has been directed at us. Tit for tat.
What if we were able to simply be kind all the time, no matter what? I know I would struggle to do it, but can we? At times, I have unkind thoughts. I try to keep them to myself, but they sometimes spill out in my actions. Or in my frustration.
Whenever I meet with a family before a funeral to hear about their loved one so I can ensure a personal service, I hear only lovely things. I am told how kind, how loving, how giving someone was. I do not hear about the unkind times. We do not focus on them. After my very first funeral on my very first pastoral charge someone came up to me to tell me what a wonderful job I had done. Of course, I had not known the person, I had just arrived at that church. I had relied on the family to tell me about them. Then the person complimenting me added, “He got a much nicer funeral from you than he would have from someone who actually knew him.” I wasn’t sure how to react to that. Then I began to hear stories that were less positive. Kindness, apparently, was not something he had practiced, but everyone felt I had given him kindness to send him off in such a positive way.
I don’t always get kindness right. I often miss opportunities to practice it. But I also make an effort to practice it everyday. There is a reason why I use the word practice. Because we do need to practice giving kindness, just like we need to practice the piano, or anything else we want to become good at in our lives.
I know there are many kind people out there. I know that kindness is often shown in private. For those of you doing well with your practice of kindness, I salute you. Please keep doing it. Hopefully, it will catch on with others. For those of us who need to keep practicing, please do so. The world will be a better place for it.
We don’t always see the results of our kindness which is why we need to be intentional. Kindness isn’t about getting something back. But many times, the kindness of a smile, gets a smile in return and we are reminded once again, that there is good in this world, and we can be a part of it.
Peace,
Rev. Mary-Jane