Wednesday Wonder – September 18, 2024

“The world is bursting with wonder, and yet it’s the rare productivity guru who seems to have considered the possibility that the ultimate point of all our frenetic doing might be to experience more of that wonder.” – Oliver Burkeman in Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals

This quote really hit home for me. Every week I wanted to send out something that would remind us of wonder in our world, but while I was working that very reminder of wonder became just another thing on the to-do list. I had stopped to look for wonder in the way I had wanted. Time, which I have talked about in my wonderings before, took on a new look and meaning for me during my ‘forced relaxation’ these last three months. That led to seeing wonder slightly differently for a time.

My last Wednesday Wonder before going on medical leave asked you to share with me the wonder of your summers as I expected my ability to see wonder might be impaired as I recuperated. Thank you for sharing. The little glimpses you offered did remind me to make a point of noticing wonder in my days.

Time became my great source of wonder. So often we think of time as a scarce resource in our lives. When our to-do lists are miles long and we know we will never get it all done, it does feel scarce. And it leads, often, to a feeling of being overwhelmed by all we have to do.

For me, I experienced a very different sense of time during my recuperation. I realized I had time in abundance. There were no deadlines to meet, no services to prepare, no calls that had to be made in a timely fashion. As long as I got to any appointments that were scheduled, the rest of the time was mine. And that abundance of open time felt almost as overwhelming as the feeling of having no time, or not enough time. What would I do to fill all that time?!

Well, thank goodness for books that talk about time management! I had read one by Laura Vanderkam years ago that had helped change my mindset from focusing on each 24 hour day to looking at the larger picture of the 168 hours in a week. That helped to make it feel like maybe I could meet the key needs of personal and professional life. If something didn’t get done there was still time in the week, if not the day.

How to fill 168 hours when no one is asking anything more of me than to rest, relax and heal? None of those things are particularly active, nor did they require me to engage my brain much. Don’t get me wrong, lying around napping and eating can be enjoyable, but you get to a point where that together with novels and what are termed ‘self-help’ books, and a few craft projects just are not enough. And, given that my surgery had gone very well and the healing process was quicker than expected, I was desperately wanting to go back to my ministry work. Then I would have a day where reading, crafting or just plain getting out of bed was hard. And I realized, I am still not ready. Darn it!

Then I read Laura Vanderkam’s new book, Tranquility by Tuesday, and Oliver Burkeman’s book from where the quote came to begin this Wonder. Burkeman was one of those productivity gurus who forgot about the wonder of life and then realized we cannot master time and we only get so much of it, so do what fills you and feels important to you. I figured Laura’s book would be another about how to master time, or at least feel you had. She is big on tracking our time so we can truly understand how we use it. Turns out the tranquility she was offering by Tuesday, echoed a lot of Oliver’s book. Figure out what is important to you and make time for it. Other things will still get done, but you will feel you have more time, less frenetic moments, and more joy and wonder in your life if you start with making time for those things that bring you joy and wonder.

Reading these books on my deck, drinking coffee, and stopping to talk to the birds and squirrels that would drop by the railing near me, helped me decide what the real priorities in my life are, and how I want to make time for them. That insight was a real wonder for me. I wanted to make time to sit out on the deck and talk to my new friend, Robin, who had built a nest in the tree near where I was sitting and dropped by each day, it seemed, to give me an update on the nest and its contents. Or the cardinal who stopped by, reminding me that my mom was walking with me on my journey even though she no longer walked physically beside me. (If you have never heard it, many people believe our loved ones who have died come back to see us as cardinals. There are three cardinals regularly in my yard, pretty sure they are a couple of dear friends and my mom. They show up when I need reassurance. Have seen them a lot this summer.) And then there was the quiet of early morning in the neighbourhood and being able to hear as people began to rise and start their days. Someone gave me a sketchbook before my surgery. And it helped me notice the interesting way my neighbour’s tree has grown. Can’t draw, but made an attempt. Then I started thinking about how I want the backyard to look, since we need to replace the deck anyway. Sketched that out too. These are things that, without the gift of open time, I would never have noticed or done.

While personal priorities have often been easier to identify, having a new grandchild sort of ensured those. I also realized I hadn’t made as much time for other life-giving, joy-bringing activities. Into my daily schedule they went. And, I have been keeping a list of professional priorities, ideas, etc. as well. All this time has given me a renewed sense of my need to be in active ministry. I have missed you all terribly, and all the things we usually do together.

This has become rather long, so let me finish by saying: One of the gifts of time in abundance has been to allow me to remember the wonder of simply being with you, building relationships and working together in a common goal. We want others to experience the wonder of life and faith. We want others to know that God is with them. You have done that for me with all of your support. God’s presence, because of you, has been the greatest wonder these last months. Can’t wait to be together working to share that same sense with our community of faith, and beyond.

See you Sunday!

Peace,
Rev. Mary-Jane