Wednesday Wonder – January 17, 2024

I love to people watch. Anyone else? I truly enjoy wandering the mall, not shopping but watching everyone around me. My son, Stephen, and I would play a little game at the food court at times. He would pick a group of people and ask me what was happening. Many a time, I could anticipate a child’s meltdown, or an imminent storming away from the table and Stephen was always fascinated about how I could tell what would happen.

Body language can tell you a lot about a person and their state of mind. In fact, science says that about 90% of all communication is nonverbal. Quite a statement for someone like me, who as you all know, loves to talk! If we pay attention, people will tell us things without ever opening their mouths.

But, how often do we ‘hear’ what they are not saying? We have to pay attention, and in our fast paced world that is harder and harder to do. Stephen and I would play our game when we were having a slower day of time together, not when we were rushing to get what we needed, grab a quick bite and get on to the next thing. I had time to truly see what people were saying through their body language.

Now, some things can be obvious. You see someone crying, someone has a clearly grumpy look on their face, slumped shoulders or a ramrod straight back are all clear indicators of feelings. We still won’t necessarily know the reasons for them, but we can see they are there.

Then there are those who are really good at masking what is going on, even with their body language. Those people who always have a smile, or always have a frown for that matter, despite what is going on in their lives. These are the people we need to be aware of each day.

As we move through life, we need to greet each person with kindness and compassion. Even those who are smiling may be really good at hiding the tears that are happening on the inside. Someone may have just received devastating news, but have to hold themselves together at work. Someone may have just had a significant loss in their life, but again, need to hold it all together for a time. Or someone may even have great news to share but have to wait until the appropriate time.

We so often greet someone, even in passing, with ‘How are you?’ But we are not really expecting an answer. The standard response is supposed to be ‘Fine’ or ‘Good, how about you?’ Have you ever asked that question only to hear ‘Not so great, actually.’ Pulls us up short. Seems like such a neutral question, but maybe not.

Before Christmas I was saying that I won’t go out shopping unless I can be pleasant and share the peace and goodwill of the season with everyone. Very few other times of the year have so many people stressed out and hurting. But reality is, those stressed and hurting folks are always there.

It can be hard to brush off rude or obnoxious behaviour as saying maybe that person is having a bad day, but maybe they actually are. We all have them. Sometimes the masks of normality and false bravado slip, but often we cannot see behind them. I am working to remember that. As good as I may be at reading body language, I cannot always tell what is going on behind the mask if the person doesn’t want me to know.

I am working to approach every person with kindness and compassion, because I just don’t know what is going on in their story. A smile and a positive response may make all the difference in their day. Let’s face it, this isn’t always easy. Because some days, I am the one wearing the mask and I am the one who needs the kindness and compassion to come my way.

What a world it would be though if we all tried to live this way. I think it is what God hoped humans would be like. It certainly seems like Jesus tried to provide an example of how to do it. Even he had days when it was difficult because his life was full and he was tired. Nevertheless, he kept going. Well, I know I don’t have the strength and depth that Jesus had. I am only human after all. But I can strive to be better at approaching the world with kindness and compassion. And Jesus will walk with me as I try.

So, how are you today? I really want to know.

Peace,
Rev. Mary-Jane